Hello, John here.
As you know, I am a born again Christian. I have also lived in the Gay (big G) lifestyle which I am no longer living. Currently, I am in ministry to help anyone touched by SSA or a gay lifestyle.
You may not realize this but there are times in my daily life that I find myself in an emotionally empty place. There are times I can’t seem to get out of my own way with feelings. It sounds crazy but feelings can be so powerful. I look at what God has given me and wonder what I am going to do next and how. I believe God has given me each of you to help me navigate this terrain. I have had several people ask me what it was like to come out as gay then come back to Christ. Did I go back in the closet? Or, now that I walk fully dedicated to Christ with old thoughts still in my head (yet surrendered to Him), what is there for me relationally? How do I handle loneliness? Am I depressed?
This is where you come in! Like mighty white knights to my rescue. God is so faithful and amazing! There are days I can do little more than cry. I cry over the loss of time in my life to have been what God chose me to be from childhood. I don’t blame God…anymore! When I sit alone, I am alone. Once, a scary place to be when high emotion strikes. I cry for the absolute Magnificence of his Grace toward me. “Who am I” rides the waves of emotion in my mind and comes out on the whimper of my lips.
Relationally I have put all of my desire for relationship in God’s hands. Not in some sort of lame or weak way but in power. Who will God send to fulfill my need? I hope you will accept this as a blessing as I tell you, God sent you! See the Glory of God with spiritual eyes! Jesus knows my heart and I want you to know what he knows.
Depression has no power in my life. When I finally allowed myself to be loved by Jesus and embrace what he did for me on the cross, depression was cast far from me forever. Amen!
Free Indeed, a new life, a new city and state all bring me to my knees. It is this amazing family of God…the Church…YOU; that lift me. As promised in his Word, I run and not grow weary and you make me soar!
It is my hope, that as you read this you rejoice with me. I pray you will remember this when you meet someone like me. There is something you can do for them. There always is! Love them as you have loved me. Change their mind about God and us Christians. Grace and Truth came through Jesus Christ and you, my friends, most assuredly live it! I am humbled. Thanks again for your time. Thank you for being you and allowing God to be God to someone through you.
John, who lived in the lifestyle for 30 years and returned to Christ full force, and Brandon, a 21 year old straight man also in love with the Lord Jesus. A team of two brought together by God to act as one. One gay one straight both in loving relationship with Christ.