I am your friend. I’m gay. Homosexual if you like. I have always felt this way. I have never been able to connect with heterosexuality and I believe that because I cannot tell you how it began that it is part of my being. I therefore don’t know if anything can really change. I know the words of the Bible because I follow Christ. Now what? ---
My friend is gay (or homosexual, as my friends put it). He doesn’t know how it started or when it started. So he believes that it’s always been a part of him and therefore born with it making it something God accepts and is open to. ---
Searching for answers, I spoke to someone who said they were in the gay lifestyle and they also followed Christ and he (Jesus) led him out of the lifestyle. Is that really possible? What does it mean for someone to be led out of the lifestyle? I don’t know what to think.
Here is how our conversation went:
He asked me what my prayer is for my friend. I thought that was an interesting question, since I’d never really thought about it. I just simply prayed that he would change, that God would do something to change him. Having to face that question caused me to realize that I didn’t know what to pray for. I just know that Jesus loves us and I wanted my friend to be loved by Jesus.
I never realized that Jesus would love him where he was at and that he would bring him to salvation. All because it’s a free gift, available to everybody and that they don’t have change anything with their lives before they can receive it. From that point (Salvation) it is in God’s hands to do with them as he pleases. The man I spoke to said, “Yes that’s true”. In fact, he pointed out that there is a responsibility of the person (who is dealing with homosexuality) toward God as well. This was a comfort, but not an easy comfort.
He went on to ask me again what my prayer was for my gay friend. I told him it was that my friend would stop being attracted to men. That he would be heterosexual and that God would be pleased with that. As I spoke the words, I realized that my prayer was less for him and more for me. It was less about him finding the love and the peace that Jesus has to offer and more about me just wanting to change him to something that I could relate to. My need to relate to him as a heterosexual is why I cannot seem to get answers from God because I’ve blocked God’s ability to talk to me and give me the words to speak to the friend I love so dearly.
What if my prayer and my speech to my friend was only about the love of Jesus, this man said? What if I never spoke about the sex that he has with his friends? What if I never spoke about what I think is a right relationship with another man in his life? Again, he went back to, “What if I only told you how much Jesus loves you. That your creator died and rose again, so that you could be with him for eternity.” What if? What if?!
He went on to explain that so many have failed their friends and the world has failed its people. The church has failed its people, because they try to change people into something they don’t know can be done. We try to make them into the mold of what’s right in our minds to make it easy to accept them. But that’s not what Jesus did. Jesus was accused of being with sinners.
Are you being accused of being sinners? Is the church pointing at you and calling you names and calling you out because you’re with the sinners, telling them about the grace of Christ? If not, then shouldn’t you look at your walk and relationship with Jesus? Discover the truth of the grace that Jesus brought to all!
The Bible says that we are sinners saved by grace through faith, lest any man should boast and not by works (EPH 2:8). If this is true, then it doesn’t matter what sin someone is in when they receive Christ. It matters that they receive Christ! From this point, he leads them on and out of their trouble(s) by his Grace. It has nothing to do with your leading them where you think they should or need to go. Your job in this area is to walk with them and lead them into the truth and knowledge of Christ and what the Bible says about the love of Jesus. So I said to him, “Well, there’s Scriptures that speak against these behaviors and so that’s what I tell them.” What makes you think they need you to tell them that? Are you the “be all” and the answer to all the needs in their mind? Without knowing it you say, “Hey, you have to stop living this way so God can love you.” Someone (or you) just got done spending all this time with them telling them about Jesus and bringing them to salvation and you’re there to tell them what their salvation did not do. Who are you, what are you talking about, what God do you serve?
He told me all of these things and went on to say, instead of looking at the sin, look at the light. Instead of looking at ones’ lifestyle, look at the light of God. Let your goal be life because we are called to be light, which brings life. Jesus said in John 10:10, “He is life and he brings life more abundantly”. He is life everlasting. He is the truth, the life and the way (John 14:6). It is not for you to decide when or how one experiences life in Christ. That’s what he said to me.
From that short conversation, I realized that the love I have for my friend is true and real. It’s good and it’s healthy and God will bless it. But, he went on to show me, it’s flawed too. Because (in some ways), I have been putting myself in the equation. I put my opinion where God needs to be. I put my opinion in what God needs to do and how God needs to do it, when God needs to do it and why God needs to do it.
I was shown that when I put myself in a position of making it my correction of your sin or your need, I become God. Not thinking that’s a good idea!
And I know now that I will always fail because I have no better handle on the knowledge of good and evil, than Adam and Eve did after they ate the fruit of the tree.
God has knowledge of sin. He knows what it is and he knows what he died for. He knows that he covers us and that we are saved from the death that sin brings through a relationship with Christ.
I know now that the love of Jesus transforms everything. He conquers all, he is the change. He is the one who makes us a new creation in him. “I am the righteousness of God in Christ” (2Cor5:21) said my saved “gay” now Christian friend. God is the power that changes us and transforms us into his image.
So I will no longer pray for heterosexuality. I will no longer pray for changes that I think have to be made in someone else’s life. I choose now to follow Christ and pray for my friend and let God lead me into what specifically needs to be prayed for. I choose to listen to Christ when he says to reach out to my friend and ask them what they need prayer for. If ever I wanted to know what they need (from God) in their lives, I need only ask them. I no longer need to pray my opinions into their lives.
I get it now! What they need (their prayer request), what they tell me, is exactly what God is trying to tell me they need. Why don’t we all understand that? Why don’t we all listen to the people to whom we are speaking? Receive their prayer request and receive it from their heart.
He has shown them his power and his will for their life. I do not need to pray against them. I don’t need to pray my opinion or my self-righteousness. I need to pray what they said they need and want from our loving father.
I pray that we come together.
My name is John. I am a Christian and I am from the gay lifestyle and it was because of the love of Christ that I am where I am today and I do what I do. The love of Jesus is for all! I will never ever back off of that truth!!!
If you struggle with same-sex attraction, homosexuality, sexual identity, pornography or anything else that has taken over or devastated your life, we look forward to walking with you. I want you to know how much I love you and how much Christ loves you. Free Indeed is a ministry. But the truth of it, the basis of it, is that we are people who simply have a logo but greater than that we have a heart for you.
We have a God that we serve that loves you because he created you. Just like us he wants to save you and have a relationship that will last an eternity. He wants to give you eternal life right there where you sit in the midst of your pain. Maybe you’re drinking or doing drugs to dull the pain because it seems there is no other way out. He wants to meet you right where you are. Don’t be afraid. Don’t be afraid that the darkness is so dark that you cannot find your way out. We are reaching our hand to you. We love you. I love you and I know God is so powerful that he can do anything (for you) that needs to be done.
God bless you and keep you!
John, who lived in the lifestyle for 30 years and returned to Christ full force, and Brandon, a 21 year old straight man also in love with the Lord Jesus. A team of two brought together by God to act as one. One gay one straight both in loving relationship with Christ.